When I Saw Dill Yonder
by strange-little-lost-girl
Summary: The Love of Dill and Scout, not so perfect after all . . .


I remember them days when me and Jem always sat next to that fire blazing. Now, here I was, about to watch Jem walk down the aisle with Olivia. Olivia reminded me of Aunt Alexandra, cold and stonelike. Atticus strolled up beside. "Hey, wot'cha doin' Scout?" A tear trickled down my face. "He's really goin' ain't he?" I looked at Atticus, who in turn, sighed and looked to his feet.

"Scout, it's for the best, he really loves Oli'vea." Atticus always said Olivia's name with slight discomfort, as if there was always a part of him doubting her. I smoothed down my Sunday dress as I saw Jem pacing. I suddenly saw an old friend in the crowd, I jumped onto tip-toes in excitement.

"Is that ole' Dill yonder?" I pointed as my eyes widened. I leapt down the few stairs from the front of the Church. "Dill!" I shouted, running through the crowds.

"Oof!" he exclaimed as I leapt onto him, swinging my legs around him. "Hey Scout, today's the big day 'huh?" he put me down and planted a soft kiss on my cheek. For a moment, I met his gaze and I stared longingly into those dark brown eyes, the hazel swirls brighten in the morning sunshine, and for that second I forgot about Jem. I realised that Dill was staring into my eyes just as deeply, and in flashes I saw to the depths of his soul, the people around us faded away, and my heart skipped once, twice, thrice. Every breath I took was quick and quivery. His strong, bold hands caressed mine, and a shudder ran through my spine, and I felt the warmth in my heart.

"I love you, Dill." I pushed the words out of my dry throat, as I gazed into his beautiful eyes, that looked back into mine. I rested my head on his shoulders and he hugged his arms around my back, as tears came to my eyes and I felt like we would never let go of each other. Our embrace was broken by Dill, he choked the words over the ball in his throat. "Hey Scout." He whispered.

"Yes." I softly replied.

"I think we's best be over there, I see Jem yonder." We gently broke apart, and I felt him pull my hand to his side as we walked over to Jem and Olivia, I felt Dill's eyes bore lovingly onto me, I smiled to myself and gripped his hand a bit more to show him how I felt.

The Wedding

"I do." Exclaimed Jem, as he looked at Olivia, who's cheeks were now tear-stained and who's smile bore no regrets. Jem turned to his wife, with loving care and kissed her. I stood next to Dill, still holding onto his hand, I choked and spluttered tears.

"Oh, Jem." I sighed quietly, staring into the back of my brother's head, Dill put his hand on my knee.

"It's gonna b'ok ya know." He comforted me. "Jem's still gon'love ya, he gotta love Olivia too. Jem feels same way too 'bout leaving you." I took my tissue away from my eyes and looked upp to him in hope. "I lov'you Scout, the way Jem loves Olivia, and I ain't never gonna let you go." I tip toed again to kiss him and my heart jumped and all again, our eyes meet, again, caught in that beautiful moment. But, Dill pulled away, my heart dropped through my stomach.

"What'srong Dill?" I questioned worriedly. I saw his eyes wander past me, to Atticus who was standing behind me. I still didn't understand why he pulled away so sharply, surely he wouldn't have minded. Atticus looked upon me with a warm smile, as he wrapped his arm around me.

"Jem's gonna be just fine, honey." It's almost as if he knew what had been pondering my mind all this time. We stood there for a second, we were both thinking about life without Jem, Atticus looked at me, smilde and with that, he left. I stood there alone with Dill again, who I went over to examine.

"What was that about Dill?" I asked cautiously.

"Nothin' it just don't feel right infront'a Atticus." He shyly told me. I was confused by why he had a problem with this. I sighed and sank down into a pew. I saw no more questions to be asked, and in those few hours we had spent together, I felt used. Dill saw me chew my nails and he saw the tears swell in my eyes. He sat into the pew next to me. "I'm sorry Scout." he wiped a tear from my eye. "It's just I've never loved someone like you, and I dunno what happened, I just got frightened, I love you so much Scout, I do, please, I'm sawry." He handed me a tissue. "I don't wanna leave tonight, but you know i have to-"

"What?" I exclaimed, stamping down my foot.

"Ya'know don't you? I have to Scout, I'll be back soon, Scout, I promise," His words quickened, and his brow filled with sweat, as I sat there, my mouth open. I sobbed lightly, and he put his head against mine, "I'm sorry, Scout, I'll be back soon, ya know I will."

"Yeah, I know." I nodded comfortingly.

Later that night . . .

Wiping tears from my eyes, I sat down on my bed and thought of Dill in Meridian, and how much I wanted him. He felt like he was making it difficult for us, but I would always be there for him and the last time I saw him, he had cried, and I cried at the thought of his pained face. I only wanted him to know I was always here . . .

_The Pretenders: I'll Stand By You_

_Oh, why you look so sad? Tears are in your eyes . . ._

_Come on and come to me now . . ._

_Don't be ashamed to cry . . ._

_Let me see you through . . . cause I've seen the dark side too._

Every tear I felt stain my face, made a stabbing pain in my, I rolled over rapidly and grasped my pillow, how I longed for him, to throw my arms around him again. He seemed to think that he was slowly destroying everything they had.

_When the night falls on you . . . you don't know what to do . . ._

_Nothing you confess . . . could make me love you less . . ._

"I love you, so much Dill." I crunched my way through tears, even though he never heard it, I felt slight relief in my heart but I still wanted him, his soft lips on mine, his hands that protected my small fingers and the feeling I had when I had his love in my arms.

_So when you're mad . . . get mad . . ._

_Don't hold it all inside . . . come on and talk to me now . . ._

_Hey, what you got to hide . . . _

I gritted my teeth, I loved Dill, but I hated the pain I felt I caused him.

_I get angry to . . ._

When we were both meant to be together.

_When I'm alone like you . . ._

All I want to do, is be there for him, wherever he is, I want to be there just to help him.

_You're standing at the crossroads and don't know what path to choose . . ._

_Let me come along . . .cause even if you're wrong . . ._

_I'll stand by you . . . _"I'll stand by you." I whispered before I let the tears drip into my hands that longed for Dill's touch

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Well it was a first try ever, please be kind -whimpers-

I hoped you liked it and if you didn't well I'm sorry -looks sad-


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